The seduction of the season

You feel it, tugging at your hem... it's not just the fallen, leafless branch on the sidewalk.
It's there, on your shoulder... no, not just the leaves in the oranges and reds of their slow deaths.
It's in the air in your lungs... and it's not just the sharp cold that underlies every movement outdoors and then scurries inside behind you to hide in the corners of your house.

It's the spirits.

You hear it. You feel it. We all do - we're witches.

~~
The blog name, Musings of a Kitchen Druid, really did come from the nickname my friends had for me. I wasn't quite a Druid and I wasn't quite a Kitchen Witch. I was somewhere in the middle. I was young in my practice and it was all perfect and new and I had NO idea what I was doing. But I could see my path and it was wonderful. It was home.

Fast forward a few years, past many successful and many, many more unsuccessful holy day rites and across a thousand late night conversations and early morning whispers... and my path was far more clear to me. It was easier to see the turning of the Wheel. I didn't need a calendar to tell me what holy day was coming. My books were references when I was tired or didn't feel like recalling it. It was so very nice. That's when I started writing this blog.

Then I was struck by lightning. Or at least it felt like that. It was a bonfire and I was standing in the middle. And when I finally came out the other side, a year and a half later, I was scorched but knew all that I didn't need was gone. It was quite liberating. I started on my path anew, and KNEW (the way you do when the clue by four hits) who I was and what I was doing. My path was now burned into my skin.

The holy days come now and I don't feel rushed by them anymore. They come and I welcome them as an old friend - you know the ones, those who can let themselves into your house, start a pot of tea and be sitting down with that box of cookies you've been saving before you're even downstairs to greet them. They're so close they're family. My path is never hidden from me these days. It's taken me some time to come to this, and in the emotional turmoil over the last year it's been harder, but as I come out the other side of all this I realize that my path is there to steady me, there to guide me. Your path is a touchstone.

My wish for you this Samhain is simple - I hope your path becomes clear to you.

Blessed Samhain!

But it was supposed to be...

If anything in my life could ever have been summed up, or ever could be summed up, by one phrase... well, that'd have to be it.

My coworkers are living this today - it was supposed to be close to 80 here... "a beach day" one of the local weathermen said. They're all sad that it's not even 70 outside and very overcast. I'm not - I love overcast weather and if ever there was a time for it, it'd be now when the veil thins and we all look to the shadows for answers.

Personal tragedy came again last night too - no one is dead, but there is pain and healing that needs to happen and it will take a very long time. She's not out of the woods, and she never really will be. I pray for something that will help her heal, learn, grow. I don't know that we'll get that. I know we won't stop offering her our love and support and help.

There are a lot of things that were supposed to be. There are a lot of things that are supposed to be. None of them were or are certain. No, that's not meant to be comforting. Things like this never are.

~~~
As we spend the next few weeks looking into the dark, looking to the fading Moon, and looking into the flames of our fires, think about what you thought was supposed to happen and if it did or not. And if not, think about why. Ask you ancestors for help in deciphering the meaning there and see if there are lessons you needed to learn.

and Breathe.

The crunch of leaves and the scent of cold - Remember

My favorite season has begun. Mums are *everywhere*, the leaves are turning to their brilliant oranges and reds and yellows, pumpkin has invaded everything, the apple cider diehards are fighting the good fight for seasonal flavor dominance... it's a magical time. ;)

It is though - it's one of those points in time that I just know things are working as I draw a circle or stir the stockpot. It's also the time of year to remember a few really important things.

So, here's a list of things I remind myself of this time of year:
- no matter what I do, all the intention in the world won't work without action.
- just because I can doesn't mean I should.
- our ancestors are there to help, not to do it for us.

~~~~
It's easy this time of year to get swept up in the craziness. It's really really easy to lose sight of people being helpful and instead just see the inconvenience.

It's not always about you.

As the leaves change and the air cools and the house dries out from use of the heater remember - be helpful if you know that's what the person wants.

Take deep breaths.

Mostly, just take deep breaths and remember. That's what this time is about. Remembering.

Finding Joy

A very wise person that I know has a birthday soon. They've asked that instead of sending presents or random messages on Facebook that people instead take a selfie of themselves enjoying something that brings them joy. He's not the first to ask this - another wonderful person I know asked that for his birthday people post ice cream selfies (I am very sure that'll be a trending hashtag one of these days given how many people he knows) and it spread like wildfire.

The birthday is this weekend, and I'm excited for it - I'll be spending the weekend with my beloved doing I don't even know what, but whatever it is we'll be relaxing. Maybe the selfie will be me with my Kindle as I finish the next book in a series I'm reading. Maybe it will be me and my knitting. Maybe it'll just be the two of us and some nice glasses of wine. I don't know, but I do know that exercises like this are so very valuable.

See, things like this remind you to do something very important. They make you take stock of the things that bring you joy. When someone asks you to take a picture of yourself engaging in an activity that brings you joy, you start thinking about what'll be in that picture. How you'll take it. What project you'll be working on. And that starts you down the road of listing the things that bring you joy. The people, the places, the experiences, the hobbies.

And you know what? You end up with a pretty long list of things that bring you joy. And you smile thinking about those things.

And then the world isn't quite so bleak.

So here's my wish for you. Do it. Saturday, post a picture of yourself with something, someone, somewhere that brings you joy. (nothing crude or obscene everyone. Please. Keep it clean and happy.) But post it on Facebook and tag it #joy

OK? If not for me, for a really cool guy who's an inspiration for many and really does just want everyone to be happy.

Blessings!

A Year Ago...

A year ago I was climbing a small mountain in Ireland, looking at the mist and dew with tears in my eyes and a pain in my heart that has lessened but not gone.

A year ago I stood in a place that spoke to the oldest parts of my soul and listened to the songs there.

A year ago I touched stones that tell stories to those who will listen, and I listened.

It's very fitting that it's so rainy this morning. The rain falls here and on Loughcrew. It obscures the rising sun here the way it does there. The similarities are beautiful and a lovely reminder of our connectedness.

~~~
You remember what it's like when you're new, right? The high holy days and the drive to have everything *just so* and the wrench in your gut when you don't quite hit the mark? Maybe you flubbed a line, maybe the bread didn't rise correctly, maybe the bonfire wasn't quite big enough... the complete and total devotion you give over to celebrating, to reminding those you can remind that your holy days are not their holy days, and all the to do that comes along with it. It's fun when you're new. It's your new path and like anything shiny and new you show it to everyone, give it the very best spot on your nightstand, carry it with you everywhere, and never let anyone forget it. 

When you've been at this for almost two decades though, the newness wears thin and you're left with the blunt reality of the path. It's never going to go just so all the time. There will always be a fly in the wine. There will always be a part of the bonfire that doesn't want to light. 

The Autumn Equinox has become a very important holy day for me. It didn't used to be, and honestly wasn't something I celebrated heavily when I was shiny and new. Lugnasad? You betcha! Samhain? OF COURSE!!! But the Equinox? I observed the day, but didn't celebrate it. I wouldn't bake for it, and I certainly didn't hold a Rite for it. I sought my transition days on the BIG ONES, not the little days. 

Wanna know a secret? The little ones are the best ones. Go outside and look around. Now remember that quote from the movie Troy: "Everything is more beautiful because we’re doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again." It's true. I've spent a good deal of the last year learning to understand how I go through the grieving process and this quote has come to my mind a few times.

Why wasn't I celebrating the little ones? Why wasn't I honoring the moon each month in my own way? Why wasn't I celebrating EVERY DAY as the gift that it is? Each day is blessed. Each day can show us the turn of the Wheel. I bake because it's Friday, or because a loved one is coming over, or because I can. 

Be lovely. Celebrate the little days. 

Big Weather

Big weather. It's a term I first heard when I lived near St. Louis and let me tell you, it's accurate. Big weather is exactly what you think it is - storms, winds, rains, lightening and thunder and skies in shades of color no sky you've ever seen has ever been.

Big weather devastates as often as it creates. I've been lucky enough to experience many kinds - I've seen a tornado form and touch down less than half a mile from me. I've stood in the rain of a tropical storm to make sure everyone got inside safely. I've helped hold down a tent at a campsite as a derecho hit us full force. I have been in a commercial plane as we flew a longer path around a thunderstorm super cell - watching the lightening inside the cloud was amazing.

Standing in the face of that sort of power is intoxicating. There is a healthy amount of fear of these events - big weather has killed after all - but with that fear comes the realization of how much we can learn from it all.

~
There are many, many spells that can be worked with storms. My favorite? Baking. Mixing and kneading and creating foods during the height of the storm really connects me with the power of nature around me. The resulting breads and pastries are imbued with that connection and these are foods that I don't share lightly.

I've made Storm Water before - it's simply water collected during a storm - and it's very useful for washing stones to charge them, blessing candles before a rite, or simply having in a shallow dish on your altar. It's not for drinking or baking/cooking with or for bathing in, it's not that kind of water. I have simmered it on the stove in a pan I have specifically for aromatics, adding herbs to achieve the scent I want in the room, but that's not for consumption.

~
This weekend there will be a LOT of big weather throughout the eastern coast, and I plan to use that energy wisely. I'll be cleaning, making space in the house for the new energy to come in, and baking of course.

Blessings!

I have to remember

because it's easy to forget.

I have to remember that sitting in this office of cubes and drop lighting and the drone of mundane conversation my life is more than reports and mailings and content creation. My life is also dragons and magic and a thousand shades of sidhe.

I have to remember that the loves in my life never really leave me. They live on in my breath and in my bone and in the memories that I call on to guide my path.

I have to remember that I am more than the sum of the numbers they use to define me. My true sum is infinite because I am infinite. I cannot be defined truly by mundane terms.

I have to remember that I am an oddity to most people, and that they won't understand the light in my eyes or the hidden knowledge in my smile. They won't see what I see in the shadows or the sunbeams. They won't understand what I know to be true. I have to remember not to hold this against them - it's not their fault.

I have to remember that most religions require that you go and preach and try to convert, and that if people find out what my path is their minds will immediately think this is also my goal. I have to tell them politely and clearly that this is not so, and educate them about the truth of my Paganism if they'd like - and to drop it if they don't. Their misconceptions are not my concern if they refuse to learn.

I have to remember that I am no more or less blessed than anyone else on the planet. We are all in this together.

What will you remember today?