It should be no surprise to my readers how tired I feel this morning. It's not just my poor sleep last night - it's the weight of this morning on my shoulders.
It's difficult to be among my coworkers who don't understand. It's difficult to keep saying "I'd rather not discuss this" over and over but I cannot discuss it, so those words now live on my lips.
I looked at my skin this morning. I looked at the life I live and saw the safety in my position. I saw the protection my outward appearance affords me in the aftermath of a decision so many of us saw going differently. I'm horrified that these factors will keep me safe while so many others are in danger. I fear for my friends and their spouses and children. I fear for my loved ones. I will not be silent - I will use the privilege afforded me to fight for those who cannot. We all have to, or we are lost.
We were all going to be so happy this morning.
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I cannot let myself wallow in the emotions that flood me. I'm not ignoring them, but there is too much to do to stop for any length of time. We thought we'd have an easier path ahead of us this morning and instead we have boulders pushing us backward down a path that is crumbling under our feet. We're seeing the foundations we worked so hard for rattling like Lincoln Logs as someone walks across the floor.
The more emboldened of my coworkers have started talking more openly - as the day wears on they feel more sure, more able to speak. I know this is only the beginning but I know this too - they won't be the only ones talking.
We have work to do. We have elections other than the Presidency to vote in, to get our voices heard in, to make our influence known. AND WE MUST.
One battle is lost. So many more remain to be fought. We cannot stop now.
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