Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Looking for spare Change

Sometimes we have none of it - loose coin or change in a more general sense.

Sometimes we have more than we know what to do with - heaping bags that fall over in the back seat of the car and rattle as we hit speed bumps or a swirl of changes that bring fresh air and uncertainty.

Sometimes we go looking for it, because we know that something has to change or we'll go mad.

Now is one of those times.  Spring always does this too us, whirls us up and spins us around and charges us to DO something, CHANGE something, START something.  It leaves us with our hands in the air, head back, hair whipping in our face, screaming at the sky. It leaves us collapsed on the floor, tears streaming, voice caught in our throats, bunches of tissues in our wet palms. It leaves us, and we blink in the new light and wonder what the hell we're supposed to do.

Change come at us all crab, siding up with a smile.  It rips the floor out from under us, tears us apart. It brings us flowers and hands us a new situation with diplomacy and a smile.

It is vicious and beautiful and welcome and feared.

It's change.

~~~
So what is change when we go looking for it?  Well, it's all of the above.  When you invite change in, when you throw your hands up in frustration and go "NOPE.  Gonna change this now before I'm like to murder someone." you are doing the unthinkable to some - you're inviting change to you door, serving it tea.  You're bringing it in as an honored guest instead of a vagabond in the night.

So I'm looking for Change - I'm changing jobs soonish and the search starts now.  I have time to make this change, so I can do it thoughtfully and purposely, and with planning.  Scary, and nerve wracking, but change always is.


And here's a clover, for luck.

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